On a JET plane

Image via Wikipedia

I was tempted to join the JET program when I graduated college but this account of an American’s experiences suggest it might have broken my naive fragile mind. An example:

Doctor skit again. I’d been helping these particular boys with vocabulary, so I kind of had an idea what was coming…but I was in no way prepared for it.

Boy 1: Oh, hi. What’s wrong?
Boy 2: (clutching his stomach) I have a pain here. I can’t go toilet.
Boy 1: When did it start?
Boy 2: Two months ago.
Boy 1: Ok. Open your buttcrack.

Now, “open your buttcrack” is already strange enough. That alone might have been enough to amuse me for the rest of the day. What killed me though, was when Boy 2 stood up, hunched forward a bit, and with a facial expression that looked like he was sucking on a lemon while someone was telling him the family dog had been killed horribly, twice, he made this unforgettable “Huuuaaaaoooouuuugggghhhhh…..” noise. …What the hell is that?! The open your buttcrack noise? For you video gamers out there, imagine Guile’s defeat scream from Street Fighter II, except prolongued and…uh…more constipated. That, coupled with the face he made…it still cracks me up just thinking about it.

I mean really, there’s nothing more I can say about “Open your buttcrack” and “huuuuaaaaoooouuuugggghhhh” that could possibly make it any funnier.

There is no try. Do or do not.

The little blue engine looked up at the hill.
His light was weak, his whistle was shrill.
He was tired and small, and the hill was tall,
And his face blushed red as he softly said,
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

So he started up with a chug and a strain,
And he puffed and pulled with might and main.
And slowly he climbed, a foot at a time,
And his engine coughed as he whispered soft,
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

With a squeak and a creak and a toot and a sigh,
With an extra hope and an extra try,
He would not stop now he neared the top
And strong and proud he cried out loud,
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

He was almost there, when
He slid down and mashed into engine hash
On the rocks below… which goes to show
If the track is tough and the hill is rough,
THINKING you can just aint enough!

Some interesting thoughts on self-efficacy as opposed to confidence. Enough reading to keep me going for a day or two.

[via Limbic Nutrition.]

Driving Test

DriveYesterday I had my first driving test – I know it’s late in life to be doing such things but growing up in Dublin city centre meant that there was never a need – and like a high percentage of people I failed.

I wonder why the DSA go out of their way to make the process as daunting as possible. I failed on what it called a ‘reverse bay park’ which means reversing back between two parallel lines without touching them. Of course I went over a little but corrected it twice and meant I was considered not in control of the car. I think driving examiners are failed headmasters akin to John Cleese in Clockwise

On the plus side my re-test is this day two weeks. Wish me luck.