“Lay down all hope, you that go in by me”

Dante Alighieri (110/365)

Image by kimberlyfaye via Flickr

What would classic novels be called if they were written for today’s market?

Then: The Gospel of Matthew
Now:  40 Days and a
Mule: How One Man Quit His Job and Became the Boss

I’ve just finished Dante’s Descent into Dummy Loan Felonies —With a Detour for Minimum
Security Prison
— and Amazing Redemption as an
Ethical Financial Advisor in preparation for the video game version. I don’t remember the poet being so badass.

(via Boing Boing)

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Guarded by the Minotaur

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assassins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low
Level 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful) Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous) Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Extreme
Level 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics) Very High
Level 7 (Violent) Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Extreme
Level 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous) High

Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test

[Listening to: People That Are Going To Hell – The Vandals]