“And then they bring out Maria…”

fitness torture
Image by Olivier Bareau via Flickr

Angharad has been going to the gym for a couple of months and in some sort of masochistic way has
started enjoying it. Of course, when one enjoys something the first thought is to share it with your friends and loved ones which is why the little darling gave my name and phone number so I could have a free trial.

I found out about this today when Roberta, the peppy Spanish fitness instructor, called me to bully me into going down.

Me (confused because my phone is ringing on a Saturday afternoon):
Hello?

R.T.P.S.F.I: Hallo Mr. Ryan, this is Roberta from L.A. Fitness. You have been referred by a friend who thinks you need to go to the gym. How about a free session to see what you need to do.

Me (battered by the joint attack of peppiness and Spanishness):
Uhm. Yes. That sounds like a good idea.

R: Great. Can you come down in five minutes.
Me: Woah there lil horsey. I can come some time next week.

R: I don’t think that’s enough motivation, why don’t you just skip along right now.
Me: No. Really. Next week.

R (Showing her true alien side, for all fitness instructors are
from a dying alien planet come here to steal our
hard-earned flab
)
: Now really Mr. Ryan, don’t you want to be
fit. It’s in your best interest to come down tomorrow.
Me: But it’s a three-day weekend. I’m being lazy!

R: That’s not good enough. You have to make an appointment now.
Me (starting to sob): Okay okay. Tuesday evening.

R: That’s better. We’ll see you at 6pm on Tuesday. Don’t forget, we know where you live…

Help.